I recently began reading Bessel Van Der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score. In this book, Dr. Kolk discusses his experience working with veterans who had been traumatized during their service. Dr. Kolk emphasizes that one of his most difficult barriers in working with this population centered around the fact that he was not a veteran, and could not possibly understand the depth of their experience. Dr. Kolk illustrates that sentiment is shared across all areas of clinical work, regardless of the population; clients are reluctant to demonstrate emotional vulnerability and share their experience if they do not feel confident that the listener will understand and empathize. As a therapist who primarily works with substance use and addiction, I hear similar thing from my clients consistently – they want to work with someone who “gets it” or “is one of us”.

When battling such a powerful and destructive force, I choose to use every tool that is available to me in order to help my clients grow and change. In this case, one of those tools is self-disclosure. For this reason, I think it is important to say, I am one of you. I have felt the pain and destruction of addiction. I have experienced the helplessness and powerlessness that brought me to such a point of desperation that I had no choice but to ask for help. I have experienced the fear and uncertainty of stepping into recovery, and the growth that comes from staying committed to it long-term. I have been there. I see you, I hear you and I know you. For this reason, I chose to self-disclose. If I have the opportunity to build rapport, make my clients feel less alone and increase their chances of success, I am willing to share my personal experience. In this ever-growing battle with addiction, we may need to look at the old ideas of self disclosure and adjust to a changing battlefield.

Daniel Rubin, M.S. LMHC, LPC