Something I hear consistently from my clients is, “I feel like I am not making progress.” Progress is such a broad term and, the trouble is, I believe most people define it in a very simplistic way, which limits the scope of our acknowledgement of positive changes. Some may say that they only feel they are making progress if they increase their income, get the job they want, get the relationship the way, etc. These can be achievable goals, however, obtaining objectives is only one measure of progress. Generally, people tend to judge progress based on their core values and beliefs, or even more commonly, the core values of their parents or society as a whole. We may have never even stopped to ask ourselves what our own values, beliefs and goals are. This realization and identification is a crucial element of personal growth.
I want to remind you that AWARENESS is the FIRST STEP toward progress. Further, the first step is often the most substantial. When we become aware we have already started down the journey are making progress toward the things we want and desire in life.
Some tips:
Be able to give yourself credit for all the small steps that are going to eventually lead to reaching your goals. The good things in life do not happen overnight. There has to be a continual ability to work, grow, and push yourself to achieve the things you want.
Broaden your definition of what success and growth mean to you. People often get stuck in the idea that they will not have made progress until something specific happens. I urge you against getting trapped in the idea that you cannot grow and progress until certain events happen or specific indicators of success are present. For example, a client in a substance abuse treatment center might verbalize that they can’t make real progress until they get out of treatment. The context is not important; the movement is. In truth, you can progress in any situation, regardless of the circumstances, if you broaden you definitions of what success and growth mean to you.
Remember that progress indicators exist in all areas of your life, in many different forms. We can progress emotionally, spiritually, physically, in our relationships, work, parenting, etc. It can be one extra minute of presence with your children, trying a new recipe, or just taking one extra breath in your daily meditation practice.
Take the time to identify small steps that you can take each day toward meeting your goals.Visualize yourself as the person you want to be each morning. At the end of each day, take an inventory of yourself and how close you are to your vision, find areas you want to improve, and then write down some achievable action steps that you can take the following day to move in the direction you want to go.
Progress is always happening; sometimes we just need to adjust our perspective in order to acknowledge it.
Daniel Rubin, M.S. LMHC , LPC